Tuesday, November 1, 2011

So it begins....

Today I was depressed. Part of that depression stemmed from Halloween being over for another 364 days. But the largest part of that depression is the fact that I spend such little time working on things creatively. So I have decided to create a blog for the purpose of keeping the spirit of Halloween (and creativity) alive in me.

I decided the best way to do that is review one horror movie a day for one year. To chat with people about these movies, to network, to fight this monotony and to finally challenge myself and my creativity after years of procrastination. Whew!

Firstly, I will need structure. Ye gods, do I need structure! With that in mind I came up with six criteria on which to rate movies. They are Fear, Death, Sex, Fun, Quality and Monsters. Monsters are what reached out to my still forming mind when I was a wee tyke, and they still speak to my inner child as much as they do my inner outsider. When I look at a horror movie the first thing I think of is "Is there a monster here?"

Fear is important, too. When I was seven or eight, I would read bizarre folk tales about people with missing golden appendages creeping up stairs, step by step, seeking the purloined limb. I would read stories about women with yellow ribbons around their necks that must never be untied. These stories would scare me witless. I would beg my mother to allow me to leave the light on. She would compromise and leave the bathroom light on. Now that I'm an adult, I have the option of leaving the light on. Certain scenes and certain films still scare me that much.

Death and Sex are the two most important human experiences. I could write an entire ten volume encyclopedia on how they relate to horror movies. But I won't. I will touch on both heavily in my reviews. I will say that I like my violence stylized and my sex pornographic, and not the other way around. I'm not likely to talk about movies like 'Hostel' or 'The Human Centipede' other than they kind of made me sick. Kudos to them for making me feel something.

Fun! I love fun, don't you? Many of these movies will be fun. I love to laugh, whether what I just saw was supposed to be funny or not. Did you know Tobe Hooper intended the first 'Texas Chainsaw' to be a comedy? No? Neither did I until Gunnar Hansen pointed out to an audience at a midnight showing that Hooper thought of it as a black comedy. Which is why Part 2 is so silly, I'm guessing.

Lastly, and sometimes least, we will discuss Quality. What I thought was really well done and what elevates it to the status of Art, or something in that neighborhood. You might think that 'Bram Stoker's Dracula' was a silly ass movie (and you're right; and I love it regardless) but don't deny the amazing work in costuming or cinematography put into the film. Pure eye candy.

Ok. Now that we have a loose structure, let the reviewing begin!

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